It indeed is a powerful concept to teach our kids that it is they who frame their future. Excellent! However, this concept works only when a few caveats are in place. Foremost, if they fail at any stage they would have to quickly stand back on their own feet. It is they who are responsible for everything good as well as bad. It is their accountability to themselves and to the rest for their actions and/or inaction.
Once ground rules are laid only one thing needs to be accomplished as a parent. And, that is demonstration of accountability for one’s own actions in front of kids. Saying sorry, expressing regret and doing a course correction if promises are not honored and honesty is compromised must come naturally. Once our kids get accountability they feel liberated, they feel empowered to be the change agent. That’s where the bread gets buttered.