Respond

No response is indeed a legit response. To respond intelligently one must comprehend the question asked in its totality, study all its contours and frame a response within boundaries of the subject. Times do become tough. All news is not good news. How do we respond to bad news demonstrates what we are made of? A knee jerk reaction to bad news is of course personification of immaturity.

Power to respond is indeed power to choose and the power to change. Our response does affect the discourse irrespective of whether it can change its course or not. Our kids need to see us responding to haters or hyper negative people, and we need to be conscious that we are teaching how to respond to them.

Responding responsibly is a trait of winners, leaders and achievers. Our response does change us and shall always do.

Contentment

When you are happy, and you know it – you are contended. At times, contentment is everything one needs in life. However, satisfaction doesn’t come easily to most, the chasm between desire and achievement is usually the culprit.

On the flip side, contentment may result in complacence. Kids must be hungry for success and contended with materialistic things. A sense of comfort in terms of acquiring knowledge does slow down learning and in turn growth. ‘To get’ and ‘to achieve’ are two independent yardsticks. It is good to be easy to be contented with what you get, nonetheless when it comes to achieving – contentment shouldn’t come easy. Bar should really be set high.

Contentment is the only real wealth – Alfred Nobel

Hope

Hope keeps us going, to expect all is well is natural. However, to align expectations with ground realities is tough. Mismatch of expectations leads to disbelief when dream is shattered. Unfortunately, hopelessness takes us to blame game and all hell breaks loose.

Goal and hope are closely connected. Sadly, hope doesn’t assist in achieving goal; focus and hard-work do. Optimism is good but realism is better, hope does help in reigniting fire after a setback and it is necessary to do.

If our kids consider hope as a motivator rather than a magic wand or a miracle box, it is a beautiful thing.

Resentment

Why do our kids resent? Are we breeding their resentment by being over possessive or too focused on discipline?

Resentment is normal, addressing concerns is necessary. Moreover, no one fancies being treated unfairly, feeling of being  cheated often leads to frustration and disgust. There’s always a window for reconciliation, there’s always a room for happiness.

As parents, we must pull ourselves back at first signs of resentment, however resistance is fine. Resentment means we’ve gone overboard; agreements and mutual trust play a definitive role in resolving matters. Hostilities and enmity drain out all positive vibes and leave our kids fuming with anger and feeding on hatred. Firmness is important but instant resolution is often the only option.

Rebuke

There is a difference Between constructive criticism and rebuke. Constructive criticism highlights the shortcomings of a child in a positive way and thereby suggesting solutions to overcome them. This, in the longer run, leads to the overall development of the child. Rebuke, on the hand hand, leads to negativity in the child. And if done in front of other people, can lead to loss of confidence, leading the child to enclose himself or herself in a shell. So, as parents, we need to understand the negative impacts of rebuke.

Expressing disappointment at unexpected setbacks is justifiable.  Scolding a child for being naughty is fine. However, rebuking him/her, especially in front of strangers is a complete no-no and needs to be avoided at any cost.

Selfish

What is being selfish?

Being selfish is being – I, me, myself first, and being – I, me, myself last. Also, being selfish is having a mindset of – no window for anyone else, if it works for me, that’s all I bother about.

It is required of us to teach our kids to be inclusive. It is necessary that they identify who are selfish and take an early call and maintain a distance. Feeling of someone you helped turning against you, hurts. To our kids it is incomprehensible. It is important to teach sharing and caring to our kids and to get them to understand that they will be happier with those who share and care.

With fools, there is no companionship. Rather than to live with men who are selfish, vain, quarrelsome, and obstinate, let a man walk alone. – Gautam Buddha

Generosity

If you are expected to tip 10% in a restaurant and you tip 10% you are not being generous. Generosity comes to play when your gesture is over and above what is expected or set. Being generous is an act of kindness and bonhomie. Praise of others and paying respect are two acts where generosity works best.

It works if our kids know early in life on what being generous means and how they must go about it. It is important for them to learn that generosity is never when you are cajoled or pushed to give, it is our own act and best done with our mental peace in place. Being generous and coming back stressed is no deal. Moreover, generosity is not real if there are strings attached and expectations said/unsaid.

Think

Think is one of those English language words which have two distinct meanings – belief and idea. Both the words for which ‘Think” is used have positive connotations. Thinking through before acting upon is always an act of wisdom. It is important for our kids to learn to think-through and develop patience to do the same. Whether it is crossing a road or writing an exam, conscious thinking helps.Ideas make this world.

Simple ideas which address problems and eliminate them generally come to those who take time and mull over options and outcomes. It is important that our kids think of a solution and are unfazed by hindrances. Our kids must share what they are thinking, sharing helps in strengthening their belief. Once they have made up their mind and thought through their options, they must confidently walk to success.

 

Personality

Personality is an amorphous mix of emotional patterns, behaviors and cognition. As a parent, we play a central role in shaping our child’s character and persona. Their Personality of our kids is a direct consequence of the environment we give them. Moreover, our emotional response to situations, social interactions, and values have a direct impact on their personality. Upbringing is the key factor here.

Good manners begin at home, after all. So, watch yourself how you behave around your kids. Little things matter the most!

Achievement

Achievement is closely linked to goal, knowledge, skill, confidence, focus, courage and effort. Without a predetermined goal there is no achievement to talk about. Just setting a goal, say any goal, and putting an effort to achieve it doesn’t work. Goal fixation is an analytical exercise and so is assigning a goal.

As teachers, educationists and parents, it is important for us to involve kids in goal setting process. Making them a part of exercise gets them to know who would do what, and why. ‘Why’ is very important. ‘Why’ tells them about knowledge, skill, confidence, focus and courage required. It is also an exercise in deficiency assessment and capacity building.

Dream to excel and desire to succeed sets a framework for potential to convert to achievement.